Holy Crap!

My sister sent me a link to one of the craziest football plays I have ever seen.

Click here to check it out. I promise, even if you're not a football fan, you'll be glad you did, if only to hear how excited the guy doing play-by-play gets at the end.

Only in Division III football could something like this happen.

Even if you are not a sports fan, and don't know the difference between a lateral pass and a ladder, you shoud watch this play. Case in point, my sister probably never knew what a lateral pass until she saw this play (it features 15 laterals).

And because this blog is all about me, I should add that the team featured in this play is Trinity University in San Antonio, less than two blocks from where my mom lives. It is also where my sister works (hence her knowledge of this play). And its campus was one of Shakie's favorite places to roam aimlessly.

YAWN

Well, another World Series is about to pass. Over the past three years, this is what has happened....

2007 Boston beats Colorado 4-0

2006 St. Louis beats Detroit 4-1

2005 Chicago White Sox beats Houston 4-0

2004 Boston beats St. Louis 4-0

So in other words, over the past four years the World Series Winners have won a total of sixteen games, while over the past four years the World Series loser has won a total of one game.

To quote Nothing Ever Happens On Mars (from Waiting For Guffman), "Boring. Boring. Boring."

This year the World Series has been especially disappointing because the regular season was so exciting. There were a lot of great individual milestones (not just Barry Bonds' home run chase), some exciting pennant chases, and some magical teams to watch.

So the one game playoff between the Pardes and the Rockies before the playoffs series even started was probably the peak of the season. Everything since then has felt like a slow march towards the inevitable: the crowning of the Red Sox.

So I'll put a wrap on the season with two final thoughts.

1. People who dislike the Yankees with their ungodly payroll and arrogance, should have equal disdain for the Red Sox.
2. The Twins were disappointing this year, and I predict they will disappoint even more next year.

Conversation With Emily #980

Tomorrow morning I plan on playing a one-on-one basketball game with a friend of mine. We'll call him The Newlywed. Full court one-on-one, that is. Full court one-on-one to 300. Full court one-on-one to 300, counting by ones.

Obviously, this game alone is reason enough to write a post. But this post is about a conversation Emily and I had about this upcoming, non-so-much anticipated game.

Emily: So, is anyone going to watch you guys play the game?

Mike: God no. Me and The Newlywed playing basketball? Do you have any idea how ugly this game will be?

Emily: So who will be shirts and who will be skins?

Mike: No one.

Emily: What do you mean? You said it was going to be ugly.

Oh snap.

R.I.P. Little Buddy

This dog, Shakie, has been in one house or another of mine (or my family's) since 1992. His story is long, sweet, and sometimes very sad. But all in all he lead a good life. My mom had to put him down last week. And thanks to her, his life post 1994 was stable and happy.



I don't believe in heaven. So I sure don't believe all dogs go to heaven. But I wish like hell they did. Cripes. If only some dogs got to go to heaven, or a a select few went, Shakie would be pushed to front of the line to have his back scratched by St. Pete and let inside. Shakie was that sweet of a dog.

I'll write more when I'm emotionally equipped to do so. But much thanks to my mom for giving this dog a real home and a good life.

Libertad Fries

Emily and I spent last week in Lake Tahoe. I won some money betting on the Colorado Rockies and Cleveland Indians. And I broke even playing video poker.

And by "break even" I mean I drank a "free" beer for every $5 I spent (and lost) in the video poker machines. All told I had four "free" beers over two nights.

So if I ever get around to it, I'll get some pictures of our trip up on this blog. Just as soon as I get motivated enough to get the pictures uploaded to the computer.

In the meantime, one of the most blogworthy parts of our trip occurred early on. We flew into Sacramento, got our rental car, and then headed east to Tahoe, with only one thing on our mind: when can we eat?

So we came to some Sacramento suburb called Roseville. Since there is a suburb called Roseville here in the Twin Cities, it was only logical we stop there in quest of food.

We found a strip a mall and before you can say "Shitty Dodge rental car crossing four lanes of traffic at once, just to make a left hand turn," I crossed four lanes of traffic to make a left hand turn in our shitty Dodge rental car.

Why, you ask, did I put my wife, myself, and our shitty Dodge rental in peril?

Del Taco.

Admittedly, I've never been to Del Taco, but the name was so absurd and promising at the same time, we had to go.

And Del Taco did not disappoint. It was a step above Taco Bell, and better yet, everything had a Del in the name. McNuggets? McShake? That's freaking annoying.

But it's all about presentation. Change that to Del Nuggets. Did somebody say Del Shake? I'll take two of each please.

But that wasn't the best part. The true surprise came when I ordered some Del Value Menu item (I believe I had Del #6) and I got some French Fries to go with my tacos.

How awesome is that? DEL AWESOME! That's how awesome!

Is this what all them fancy people mean when they talk about "fusion cooking?"

So I went to the Wikipedia entry for Del Taco, expecting there to be a mention about how you get fries with your Del Burrito, but for some reason it has yet to receive any mention. Click here to see for yourself. Sure the entry dances around the fact that it has burgers AND Mexican food, but it needs to say outright, "YOU CAN GET FRIES WITH YOUR TACOS!!!!"

Yo Deets! are you out there? I did your freaking "two things about me quiz." It's about reciprocity. So get over the wikipedia and fix that Del Taco entry. The people need to know you get fries with your Del Chimichunga!

The Deets Is As The Deets Does

The Deets suggested I'd be the most likely to follow through with his request to this...

JUST TWO THINGS
Send this back to the person who sent it to you and the rest of your friends!

Okay, so he received it as a chain e-mail and turned it into a post. And I feel obliged to do fill out the list, since he said I would. Plus, you know how I love my lists.

Two Names You Go By:
1. Rocco
2. Funny Mike

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. A North Face jacket. Emily bought one for me last year and has one that matches mine.
2. t-shirt commemorating the San Antonio Spurs as champions of pro basketball in 2007.

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
Either I'm not smart enough to answer this question or it is simplifies relationships too much. Either way, I can't answer it.
1.
2.

Two Things you Like to Do:
1. Run with friends.
2. Go out to eat.

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. The swelling on my tongue to subside. I bit it so badly this morning that it looks bruised.
2. To be able to sleep in tomorrow, which I won't.

Two Things you did Last Night:
1. Hung out with a friend at the C C Club until it closed.
2. Made chocolate cookie bars, and as a joke spelled "S'UP BRAH?" in chocoloate chips on the bars. Then as I drove over to my friend's house with these bars I passed a car that had a vanity plate that read "SUP BRA." Weird, right?

Two Things you Ate Today:
1. Some of those "S'UP BRAH?" bars.
2. Leftover "Ropa Vieja." Cuban food cooked by aforementioned friend (not actually "old clothes").

Two People you Last Talked to:
1. My mom.
2. Nathan.

Two Things you’re Doing Tomorrow:
1. Working
2. Folding laundry

Two Longest Car Rides:
1.Iowa City, IA to San Antonio, TX in 1994 (driven solo)
2. San Antonio, TX to Los Angeles, CA 1980 (my mom drove that one solo). I sat in the backseat and acted like I was hosting my own version of Tic Tac Dough the whole time.

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Thanksgiving
2. Grandma's Marathon

Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Beer (domestic)
2. Gatorade

Two Things About Me that you may not have known.
1. I was born in Illinois.
2. I was kicked out of Cub Scouts in third grade because I wouldn't take my bike helmet off during a den meeting because I kept insisting to the den mother, "It's my thinking cap."

Two Jobs I have had in my life:
1. US Postal Letter Carrier
2. Dude who kept the 60 foot salad bar at Souper Salad fully stocked with fresh fruit, vegetables, salad accessories, and dessert.

Two Movies I would watch over and over:
1. The Usual Suspects
2. Buckaroo Banzaii

Places I have lived:
1. New York, NY
2. East Liberty, IA

Two of my Favorite Foods:
1. Enchiladas
2. English Muffins

Two Places I’d rather be right now:
1. Next to Emily, who is in New Orleans until Wednesday for work.
2. In a time machine so I go back twelve hours and re-eat the croissant I was eating when I bit my tongue so badly. Only I wouldn't bite my tongue the second time around.

Two people I think will respond:
1. I don't think two people read this blog.
2.

Since this is a blog, copy/paste, and fill in your own answers in the comments. Let me know if you partook in the fun.

Hotober

Well the TC10 came and went. I ran a 59:30. The close reader will note that this way off my high goal time. I went out as fast as planned, but by mile three it became obvious that the heat and humidity would not allow for anything under 58:00. By mile five I knew the only goal left was to break 60 minutes. And I did that. It just wasn't my day.

I am glad I went out aggressively. I haven't done that in awhile. Also, given the context of the day (it was so very hot), I am satisfied with my time.

I placed third in my age group which speaks more to being in a weak age group (most 35 to 39 year-olds get slowed down by daddy duty) than anything else.

But this guy kicked ass. Maybe he'll get around to blogging about it. And this guy set a PR in the 5k and has already blogged a little about it.

Saturday, October 7 was a brutal, brutal day. The good people at Down the Backstretch do a great job of addressing the pattern of hot, too hot, Minnesota marathons. Click here to read more.

DtB also did a nice summaary of the TC 10. Click here to read it. Oddly, they neglected to cover my 71st place finish. Where's the love? I was only 13 minutes behind the winner Abdi Abdirahman.

But I love the quote below from the story. It comes from the winner of the race and pretty much sums up how we all felt that day.

Said Abdirahman of the conditions: "I didn't expect this to be this bad. It was horrible. It's one of those things, you can't control the weather. It's out of our hands. I was on good pace for five or six or seven miles but then it just got worse and worse."

And on a bigger scale, the furnaces that defined the Twin Cities and Chicago Marathons have generated a lot of publicity and debate in the running community.

There seem to be schools of thoughts emerging.
1. Marathon organizers need to do more to protect its runners. This would include the opinion piece listed above from DtB, as well as a piece Frank Shorter wrote for the NYT. Click here to read it.

2. Marathons are not meant for eveyone. Marathon organizers therefore need to screen its runners before letting them run.

Just like some people can't make a basket from twenty feet out or throw a perfect forty yard spiral, not everyone should think they can run 26.2 miles. Click here and here for more.

As someone who has just finsihed coaching a class for beginning to very experienced marathoners, I actually side more with the second school of thought. However, I do not believe lowering the time limit or having prequalifying standards is the solution. An inexpeirenced 3:30 marathoner is more likely to run himself into harms way than a veteran 5:30 marathon, in my opinion.

Rather, the culture of marathoning has to change. As a running community we need to get the word out that running a marathon is not just an individual decision, but a commitment. It is a lifestyle. Before someone plunges into running their first marathon, he or she should several half marathons first. I would recommend getting two years of base running in. Get to the point where you can easily run 45 miles per week. I don't care how fast you go, just how far, as you build base.

But now there is big money in marathons. You can market them as an experience. Something you can say you did, like take a guided tour up Mt. Everest or go bungee jumping.

To say that there has to be time standards for someone to run any marathon smacks of elitism. But to portray the marathon as "an experience for everyone and anyone" trivializes just how much work and sacrifices have to be made to run one safely. And there is where the health risks start.

Bring It

So I'll be going to be in bed in about 30 minutes and waking up six hours later.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is the Twin Cities Marathon and I'm participating by running the ten mile race and then watching the marathon.

We are exepcted to a LOW of 64 degrees tomorrow. And some thunder storms to go along with that. Ugh.

But that weather won't affect us ten milers as much as the marathoners. I wish those guys the best, of course. That is the beauty of a marathon. You pour your heart and soul for one race that is so dependent on things you can't control. It's a good life lesson: there's no guarantees. Make the best of what you have in front of you that day.

But I'm just a ten miler tomorrow, so there is no need no wax philosophical about such an easy distance.

Here are my goals:
Low Goal: Sub 60
Medium Goal: Sub 59:00
High Goal: 57:20

I'm going out hard both guns blazing after that high goal. I hope to open with a 5:45 mile.

Rant #83482

I can't stand commercials with animals acting like people. I blame CGI and the Super Bowl for the mainsteaming of this style of TV advertising.

This evening during 30 Rock or The Office there was some ad with a bunch of monkies riverdancing. Really? Is that the best our creative talent, earning six figures can do?

I left the room half way through the ad. I did this in part out of protest, but also to get some more food. So I don't know what the ad was about. But it doesn't matter. Cheetas doing the macarena. Horses high fiving. Penguins riding their Harlies to Sturgis. A squirrel farts and points to the squirrel next to him to pass the blame. It took me 30 seconds to come up with those ideas. They all suck, but some hybrid of these ideas will air during our next Super Bowl. When will it stop?!?!?!

Maybe rather than boycotting Caribou, I can boycott all businesses that run these ads.

And I know that if I had Tevo this rant would die a quick death.

As an aside, I give both The Office and 30 Rock three out of five stars.

Bye Bye 'Bou

Over the years I have devoted a few posts to the trivia questions you can answer at Caribou Coffee. For those with poor memory and not from the Twin Cities, here is a review. You go into Caribou, order your drink, and if you answer their trivia question correctly, you get ten whopping cents off your drink.

Only a hyper-competetive freak would worry about these questions, see how many consecutive questions he can answer correctly, and argue with the cashier when he or she tells him his answer is wrong.

Hey, that would describe me. Just click here or here if you need a refresher.

So we'll call President-On-Currency-Gate and CapeHornGate STRIKE ONE against Caribou.

So about six months ago, I went into the Caribou in Highland Park on my way to work. The trivia question was "What basketball legend is used as the model for the NBA logo?" Awesome I think. My streak is up to seven. Here's what went down after that.

Me: I'll get a large light roast, and the answer to the trivia is Jerry West.
Cashier: Ooooooh... sorry (all sympathetic like). It's Pete Maravich.
Me: No it's not. It's Jerry West.
Cashier: I know. Everyone keeps saying that, but it's Pete Maravich.
Me: Everyone keeps saying that because it's the right answer.
Cashier: Sorry.
Me: Pete Maravich played for LSU and the New Orleans Jazz and he died young. His nickname was "Pistol Pete." Jerry West's nickname is "The Logo." There's a reason he has that nickname.
Cashier: Sorry. I can only go by what the card says.
Me: Then you should change the question to "What random basketball star from the 1970s is on this card?"

And, yes I know I should have let this go about two conversational turns ago. I'm holding up the line. I'm arguing over a dime. I really only want to get my consecutive correct answers streak up to double digits again. And well, I'm being an asshole.

So I relent. Pay my extra dime. But I'm keeping score here. That's STRIKE TWO on Caribou. I swore off Caribou trivia after that ugly episode. After that even when I knew the answer, I wouldn't participate. I just don't need the stress in my life.

And then on Monday I went to Caribou with two crumpled dollar bills in my pocket. I ordered my usual large coffee and was charged $2.03. Say what?

Cashier (not my enemy from logogate): We raised our prices over the weekend.

Well, Caribou will haveto reach that coveted price point without me. I had to go out to my car and get a dime from the change holder.

A buck ninety-three for coffee? No problem. But more than two bucks? Not unless I'm going to sit down with friends to enjoy the conversation and atmosphere.

So they upped their price a dime. What is it with me and dimes at this place?

But think about this. The dime discount for trivia has been in effect since I moved here over 11 years ago. A large coffee was around $1.50. It was worth your time. So their trivia discount should be proportional to their price increase. Is fifteen to twenty cents too much to ask?

I guess so. Over $2.00 for black coffee. STRIKE THREE.

I usually buy coffee at the coffee shop once or twice during the weekdays and once on the weekend. Now I am going to make sure I make my coffee at home five to six days a week. And if I do have to buy coffee during the workweek it will be at SuperAmerica. It only costs $1.06 there.

And they don't have trivia.